Chapter 9: The Highs and the Lows

 Not sure if it was the best idea to keep the recording on, but it gave us the confirmation that something was not right.

So now, finally back from the festival and all a bit drunk, we gathered in the kitchen and everyone agreed to watch the recording at the same time..Nervous, not knowing what to expect, we pressed the play button.
I then stopped the recording and asked one last time: Are we sure we want to see this? What you don’t know won’t hurt you, right?
We then agreed to just watch it… 

A couple of minutes in….no movement on the screen .... A couple of more minutes went by and then we got confronted by reality.. 

The Airbnb owner.. entered the house via the room we were not allowed to go into…and the messed up part was that he was in his sleeping clothes which really gave us the confirmation that he was sleeping there the whole time. Messed up….Shocked and we really couldn't believe our eyes… He then started walking in the house and really sneaky going into all the rooms. 

At some point he went back into his room… A couple of hours later… he came outside again, now to shower in MY ROOM….. And that’s when all of this started to make sense. Me waking up in the middle of the night, having the feeling someone was with me in the room.

At that moment we were SHOCKED….There was a man with us in the house, our whole stay…The good thing was that we were leaving back to Amsterdam today but we still had 12 hours to sleep due to the fact that at this time it was only 6.30am. 

As a group we were really deciding what to do…

Let’s all sleep together upstairs… lock as many doors leading up to that room….Other than that… I then went to the kitchen to take some knives just in case… I mean….We somehow needed to protect ourselves.. 

Really messed up as we could see anger, disappointment and some fear in each other's eyes. In the end you are in a foreign country with limited resources. 

How could this have happened…

After some time we went upstairs..in bed, really trying to sleep for a bit. All doors locked and really waiting for the time to pass by and leave.
Luckily we were able to sleep for a bit and after some hours, it was time to leave. 

The funny thing is, the Airbnb owner started chatting with my friend about what time we were leaving so that he could come to the house to inspect and check us out.
How can someone be like that?
We started to pack our stuff and agreed to meet the owner at 13 pm local time. We then talked about our approach on how to confront this guy. On the other hand we were also thinking about the fact that he was a local with resources…and we were foreigners.. Especially in Mexico…..

Will we confront him? I asked..
Yes! we should.. I mean this is really not ok for someone to do. It was also not stated in the contract that he is also staying in the house. They obviously don’t do it, because people then lose interest as they don’t want to stay in an Airbnb with someone they don’t know.
And…. that was also the reason why he put ‘OFFICE’ on that specific room…he was staying in.

As time was ticking, the time to check-out was getting closer.
We agreed that one of the friends will do the talking, we would record everything but also put our car near the gate meaning that there is a way to escape if needed. 

With our stuff in the car, we were ready!

Finally the guy came and we confronted him right away after he asked how our stay was. 

I agreed to confront him but was also a bit scared as we were in a foreign country….all these flashbacks coming back of being stuck in a country. 

After lots of arguing and denying from his side, there was nothing much more we could really do. At some point a discussion is pointless and you just finish it all with making clear how you feel about it. We also did mention that we would post it as a review and contact Airbnb about it. 

Once again denying and once again saying that he thought we were leaving without paying for the extra night as he saw us leaving for the party on the outside camera.

“Sir…to be honest…. whatever!!”

After some travel hours we finally arrived back in Amsterdam. This means time to go back to reality and time to get back to work.

This trip was already the third when I got this weird feeling when arriving back in the Netherlands. It was this feeling…not really wanting to be here..I wasn't sure whether it was because the vacation was over…or..I just didn't like it here anymore..
On the other hand, once I was again in my daily routine that feeling somehow vanished to the background.

Now that I was back again for a while, I was still working from home and all days were really looking all the same. But as I mentioned.. I liked the fact that it was all going so slow paced and that it was all more in the moment. 

Coping with the fact that everything was virtual went well.. I did meetings during my daily outside walks and just so much time saving when it comes to traveling from and to the office.

Time was going slow but on the other hand fast. I was given the opportunity to lead the team on the engagement and coach and lead a new joiner on the engagement. Given the fact that I was not yet a senior, I really thought this was a nice opportunity to practice my leadership skills and be more in a review role. I was a bit nervous to accept it, but I really gave it my all, realizing that as a professional and “leader”, I’m simple: Work = Work, Fun = Fun!
When there is work, we need to do it properly and give it our best. I also like to push others to the front, which gives them the opportunity to really develop their skills and try out new things. And when the work is done, we play! 

Again…time was going slowly but on the other hand fast. Suddenly it was 2022 and already my 3rd work anniversary. And to be honest, around that time I was at a stage where I got a bit blank. Blank about my career steps and really my current job. I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I used to. Ofcourse, in the 3 years there were ups and downs, but this time it was really a reality check…A reality check meaning that it was time for change. 

I didn’t want to leave the current organization, but I really wanted to do something else. I wasn’t satisfied anymore so I reached out to colleagues. And I did this as fast as possible, because in the Netherlands….you get into this thing called a ‘slur’, where you get stuck in your daily routine and suddenly 4, 5 or 6 months pass by. 

I really wanted to avoid that, so I planned lots of coffee dates with different departments hoping for another opportunity.

Some of the departments rejected me but one was interested in me. We set up a call and discussed possibilities for a future transfer.
After 2 interviews and to be honest not exactly knowing what I’ll be doing, I decided to take the job. I mean, I was told what the department was doing, but I somehow had a feeling that it was not really (1 on 1) on what they were doing.

But I had to escape this current role, because it wasn’t fulfilling me anymore…and that ‘slur’ in my mind, without thinking, I accepted the offer and made the transfer. In the moments before sleeping, I was getting this feeling that it was really the right choice…but on the other hand, maybe it was just a feeling of stepping out of my comfort zone, which made it a bit scary for me. 

I tried to ignore it most of the time and really told myself that because of the new workfield, it can be scary…. which again caused this feeling. At some point I told myself that for now, I will enjoy this summer of 2022

I had one month leave planned and for me it was the first time staying in the Netherlands with a trip planned to Barcelona. 

The weather was also really good and I woke up as early as possible. Went to the gym, mostly chilling outside and really doing just as much as possible. 

One day I went to the gym and I suddenly noticed this person who once joined one of the WOD group lessons. We didn’t talk that time but seemed interested. Mostly when I’m in the gym I’m really focused and don’t always interact with people.
And as this person somehow caught my attention, I wanted to start a conversation….But also didn't want to give into it.

I continued my workout and sometimes even did workouts next to each other. But again not really a situation where a conversation can be started. 

After several days, on a Saturday, I was training outside and after a while this person (name: F.K.) also came for training. F.K.was also working out outside. This is my chance… this is the moment where I can start a conversation…. Should I do it? or not? In these situations, I usually overthink, which often results in me not taking the step.
But this time I brought it all together and started a conversation. I must say it happened naturally and we were chit chatting about the weather of course, but also about who F.K. was and where I’m coming from and what I’m doing. F.K. was not from the Netherlands and not from Suriname, which made it all a bit more interesting. 

I then told F.K. about my summer plans and also my plan to go boating one of these days. I made an offer and asked if F.K. wanted to come along. I mean..how nice would it be to spend time together and get to know each other? F.K. agreed and we exchanged Instagrams. 

It was Tuesday and we agreed to meet at 5pm, bike to the boat as the weather was really nice for both a bike and boat trip. The conversations were super nice and we really talked about our ambitions in life, what brings us to the Netherlands and what our goals were.
During the boat trip we were even sharing more with each other and the conversation was really flowing naturally. 

At some point we stopped to enjoy the sunset. Just enjoying and taking it all in. We then smiled at each other. 

After some hours..we agreed to go back to the shore. We still had to bike home and again we were sharing stories with each other.

Such a beautiful day and as we were arriving home, F.K. thanked me for this beautiful day.

I went home and was really reflecting on this day. Such a nice day…
Days were getting by, F.K. and myself were talking more and more. Also seeing each other in the gym and sometimes even doing workouts together. I did want to keep it private, because I’ve realized that the moment you “go public”, is the moment it all fails… Also had times when people were in “my business” the moment they knew something. 

This time I wanted to do it differently and kept it for myself. And it felt good. 

F.K. and I were talking daily and really did some fun things together. It was Friday night, when we went to this after party in the city, when we kissed each other for the first time. We both didn't expect it..but we were getting drinks, started dancing….I then started looking in the eyes of F.K…continued dancing and as I was getting closer…I went for the kiss. It was mutual and there we were standing…in the middle of it all…kissing each other. It was magical and F.K. was a good kisser.. 

We continued to see each other, I was invited home, had dinners together and really enjoyed every day of this sunny summer. 

I then had my trip planned to Barcelona and during that time F.K. was texting me all day and every day, really asking me how my day was, what I was doing and even rating my outfit or giving me advice. hahah

The one thing which I think was super sweet, was waking up to a good morning/motivational text…. EVERY DAY!

Not really knowing what I was doing…and if I was ready to fall in love…it just happened. Not sure if I was in love…but I did enjoy spending time together. And it was also then when F.K. said ……”Daniël…..I really really like you”

For me… It was sort of too good to be true…and also, I was scared to break my heart again…but on the other hand…It’s when you least expect it…that’s when it happens, because love is not something you can force…it comes naturally and to be honest, this is the most natural way I’ve experienced so far…

As a person, if I really like you…I want to include you in everything I’m doing and the places I’m going. Therefore I kept inviting F.K. to all the parties I was going to. Some friends met F.K. without knowing there was something between us. Not all of my friends/people I know met F.K. though.. But it was such a nice feeling.. just the two of us getting to know each other better and seeing where this all goes. 

Nights where we just watched movies together, dinners, parties, gym and chit chatting… it was so far THE BEST SUMMER I had……..

But as the summer came to an end….. that's when the HORROR started….