Chapter 8: The beginning of a new Era

 Back in the Netherlands and back to reality. An experience richer, which no one can ever take away from me. Extremely blessed that I was given the opportunity to see lots of different countries and experience new cultures. It was so important for me to really step out of my daily comfort zone and be able to reflect on things in life. 

I’ve met people all over the world and everyone with their own story trying to figure things out. Some are escaping their lives back home due to family issues, others looking for a better life somewhere else and others working hard to provide for their families back home. 
It made me realize how blessed I actually am and that I take a lot for granted actually. But this experience made me realize that it’s really time to make the most of life, cherish all the moments and to be really grateful for the life I’m living.

With this mindset, It was time for the next adventure in life. Eyes on the price, meaning eyes on a new goal! What is next?
Arriving in the Netherlands, I always wanted to work for one of the Big Four Companies. But I also remember being rejected several times when I was applying for my internships. At that time I was thinking if that was really the space for me….
I did save money when working in Qatar, which also gave me some time to explore my options…on the other hand, I’m not a person who can sit still…meaning I always want to be busy doing something.
Therefore, I started applying for different positions…..Looking for a job is a full time job itself.

First interview was at a ‘cash collection’ agency as accounts receivable specialist. Sounds interesting but was NOT…Only red flags….the interview was really weird because the hiring manager started talking about the way I speak Dutch, my accent and that it might affect the relationship with the client..I’m like WOW!! Suggesting that I should take Dutch lessons… I must admit…some people in the Netherlands keep surprising me with all their narratives/ignorant behavior. 

Obviously, this was a NO; meaning I had to look further for other opportunities. After a while, I found an interesting vacancy which was in line with my ambitions. 

Lots of research and preparations for the interviews..First an assessment and after that 3 interviews, each time a different set of people. Intense but I tried to prepare as much as I could and ofcourse make sure my story was clear and structured.

In total the interview process took two weeks and I made it to the final interview. Happy that it was over and stressed about the end results.. I really had no idea if they would choose me or not. But I really tried to explain everything as much as possible. Really explaining everything with a real life (study/work) scenario, which supported my story.
After some days I received a call from the company that I was positive about the interview and that they wanted to offer me a position! 

YESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dream came true!! It was time to kickstart my career at one of the Big Four companies! Ready for a new era and adventure. 

The recruiter then said that I was going to receive some emails with all the follow-up information.

And now comes the other side of the story…. In the interview process I never mentioned that I needed  a work visa to work and stay in the Netherlands…..
As a Surinamese passport holder, it’s very difficult and complicated when it comes to mentioning the need of a work permit during interviews. Because usually the moment they hear about this…the chances of getting the job decreases as it costs money to request a work permit and also lots of paperwork.
Therefore my approach was always to not actively mention it during interviews and once I got the job, I would ask HR about their willingness to be my sponsor a.k.a. request the visa.

After a while I received the paperwork and also a call from the HR person. He explained certain things and then directly mentioned the fact that I have a Surinamese passport and asked me about my work status…
“Well…I’m allowed to work full time…due to fact that I finished my studies…I have a so called ‘zoekjaar’ visa, where I basically have all rights as a dutch passport holder”

And after that year, the recruiter asked?

“Well…. then usually the company can request a work visa which gives me the possibility to keep on working and living in the Netherlands”

hmmmm…..We don’t do that as a company….

‘*Silence* *Shit* …..

“I then immediately said that it’s not a problem as I’m also able to do it myself and don't need a company for it..” I was of course lying…but at that moment I really needed to secure the job. I must admit I did have other scenarios in place, if they were not going to sponsor me for a work visa..
In life, my approach is quite clear when it comes to life dilemmas… I always have different scenarios in place. One of them is a ‘worst case’ scenario. This really helps me to stay calm in different situations and also be some steps ahead. Think about different outcomes and based on each outcome develop a counter scenario.

After almost a month it was finally time to kickstart my career. Onboarding went great and I was getting used to this new way of life. Each day I learnt something new and developed myself a little bit more. Of course all of it was quite new, so discussions about the content were quite hard but I was ensured that over time I would be able to also give as much input as needed. 

I was put on one of the biggest accounts, which gave me the opportunity to really learn. Together with 2 other colleagues we were serving a Financial Sector client. Not sure about the team dynamics…I mean I go along pretty well with people, but the two others were constantly disagreeing with each other. It usually ended up with one using her seniority to make the final call due to the fact that they couldn’t agree to disagree..

Looking back I can only laugh about it because I realized that some people are very critical about the work, which is good.. but sometimes just want to disagree just to disagree..

After 8 months there were some rotations and two new colleagues joined me on the account. Quite a challenging and hectic period as I was the only one with experience with the client. Lots of introduction and onboarding meets to really keep the train going. On the other hand, it is also fun to really share the knowledge with others. In my work I somehow like the hectic around it. Especially when deadlines are approaching or some things need to be addressed urgently. It sort of gives a rush. Haha.

Suddenly it was my 1 year anniversary at work. Really gained more insights and was getting more confident in my role. However I did notice a difference between my western (Dutch) colleagues and myself. They were way more vocal, really assertive and weren’t scared to challenge the seniority. I personally think that these are really good characteristics… not perse the vocal one…because sometimes these colleagues give their opinion just to give an opinion… But on the other hand, it’s appreciated here in the Netherlands…even though you just repeat everything that is said before..
I personally think that we lack these characteris due to our upbringing and the way we are raised. In Suriname where I am from…we are not (always) allowed to ‘talk back’...Whenever you are questioning certain things, it's seen as being disrespectful, no explanation = an explanation and whatever someone older says is right….

Therefore it was really time to work on these things to grow as a professional. Thanks to my coach at work I was able to practice in different scenarios and really experiment and see which style fits me the most. I did this by challenging myself to ask a minimum of two questions during a meeting or challenge a senior person at least once!
Trial and error….slow and steady I could see the improvement. Also my feedback on this specific topic was getting better and better, which again resulted in more confidence.
Time was again flying and I must admit, I never had one day where I didn’t want to go to work. Learning each day, being in an ambitious setting and colleagues who are really fun to be around… 

I was slowly forgetting my (vacation) times at Qatar Airways and was super excited to really continue my professional career…………….

AAANDDDD THEN……….COVID CAME! 

Everyone at home! Not allowed to go to the office…

How do I set this all up at home? I mean I’m used to working with two screens and I always refused to buy one during my start because otherwise I would work too much..
Before COVID we were allowed to work at home once a week, but I remember that it was really a big deal. And it was always seen as: “are you really gonna work or ?”
But now… there was basically no option. We had to change and adapt fast. All meetings were turning into virtual meetings and sometimes colleagues were seen in their pajamas…Super funny as everyone was really trying their best to adapt to this new situation…

Pretty fast everyone adapted to this new situation. This really confirmed the fact that no matter the change…people can/will always adapt to the situation. We also didn't really have an option..In our daily professional life and private life… adaptation was needed and luckily I didn’t really struggle with it. I actually liked it for once….life in the Netherlands slowed down…Everything slowed down and I was finally able to live in the moment.
Having work calls while walking in the neighborhood, to working out outside to really just living day to day….Because COVID also had an effect on all the plans made…Also this made me realize that having plans in life is important, but making them flexible is way more important…. Why? Because life can just change in 1 split second..

Day by day…I was enjoying my time as I was finally living in the moment. Being grateful for all the things I still have and am able to do. I went cycling more and often went to the city really early to experience the complete silence….yes! Amsterdam was a ghost town.
I could finally see the things that were always there but due to the hectic was never seen…And that was also in my life….I really was able to really decide what I want to do and how I want to do things. What do I find important? What do I want to cherish more and what will I really leave behind. 

I noticed that I was really becoming more grateful…my job was still secured with a fixed income, a roof above my head, food every day and really being able to do the things I really want…..really putting things in perspective…

After some time, COVID was part of our daily lives and people were really losing up..I wouldn’t say they didn't believe in COVID….but they didn’t really care anymore. And to be honest, so did I….a bit selfish…but life needs to move on… luckily life was still going ‘slowly’......So my friends and I decided to go Mexico…. in the middle of a global pandemic… not appreciated by many…but we were ready for an adventure as you only needed a COVID test to enter the country.
We were having the time of our lives as we were exploring the city and beautiful beaches. For the second part, we rented a villa for the 4 of us. The neighborhood was a bit sketchy but the villa was quite big and nice…

First day went by and I slept pretty well. We agreed to explore the city and usually when I’m in warm countries I leave the air conditioning on, because I want the house/room to be cold when I’m back home.
After a long day, I came home and noticed that the air conditioning was off...So now I don’t remember if I did or did not turn it off……hmmmmmm…..
Well never mind…….Due to being active the whole day, we agreed to go to bed and be well relaxed for the next day….
Falling asleep quickly….but somehow….woke up in the middle of the night… not sure why….and as I was looking around in the dark room, I agreed to go back to sleep….Maybe jet lag….
The next day… I told my friend that I didn’t really sleep well… Also asked them If they came into the room..

“uhmm nooo.. we were upstairs the whole time.. “

“hmmm… okok, Yes.. I had this weird feeling that someone was walking next to my bed… But I can't really recall anything.”

We then started the day with some fun activities and we agreed to say one night longer as it was our last. This is because there was an underground festival somewhere in the woods.
While we were getting ready..we heard something coming from one of the rooms… pretty freaky as we were all downstairs preparing for this festival…

Again this noise…….wtf……

We then agreed to go and have a look….I forgot to mention that there was an office in the villa and while we first came to the villa, the host mentioned that this is a room we are not allowed to enter…
Scared as hell….we went up to that specific room as we were hearing noises coming from that room…

And while we were getting closer..the noise stopped…

‘ok….maybe we are just crazy…. or some of you are playing around”

“no seriously…..I really heard something”....

We then agreed to knock really hard on that door…..no response.….No noise….

On the other hand it was time to go to the festival as the bus leaves at a certain time….
We agreed to set up a go pro and iPhone and record the room door… Just to be safe and more likely to get a confirmation that we heard correctly…..

Hours of partying, we then returned home and what we saw on the recording was HORRIFIC AND F*CKED UP……………………………………………………………………